JAMES TAM  谭炳昌

眼看大香港的民主文化大革命正開展得如火如荼。自己身為土生土長的香港人，卻一直沒有作出過任何貢獻，幫手翻天覆地，深感內疚；整個下午輾轉反側，難以成眠。於是決定從今天開始，一連七天，把戰略思想整理成革命大字報，內容包括了令人熱血沸騰的口號和發人深省的鬥爭哲學，以方便後世整理成語錄。大字報會先在舍下張貼，再轉登博客，以作為我個人對偉大香港民主文化大革命的一種無私奉獻。 按：為了表示尊重文革活動，有關大字報都會用繁體字書寫。英文亦按香港標準。 A Democratic Cultural Revolution is happening in Hong Kong. What have I contributed? I asked myself. The question tortured my conscience. I tossed and turned all afternoon. For the first time in years, I did not nap well. A revolution needs everyone’s partici

DAY 2 Dear Comrades, Of course a revolution cannot be completed in one day. According to my latest estimate, it could take up to seven days, a full day more than it took our Christian God — the Heavenly Father of many secular democracies — to manufacture the universe. So, don’t underestimate this momentous undertaking. Study today’s Big Character Posters well, put them into action! Vive la revolution! 革命第二天 同志們好！ 我老早知道革命不是一朝一夕的事業，只不過時機未成熟，沒有告訴你們吧了。根據我的最新估計，整個“大香港民主文革”需時大約七天。我

DAY 3 Dear Comrades, In the old days, ignorance was involuntary, but a bliss. In today’s Hong Kong, ignorance is voluntary, a privilege, as inalienable a human right to us as hand held video games. But we are less happy. Why? I’d give you the same answer for any of your ten thousand woes: Because we have no democracy! Right? RIGHT! Right right? RIGHT RIGHT! Elsewhere, ignorance has become an unstoppable global political power, creating not only bliss, but self-righteous delus

DAY 4 Dear Comrades, Our revolution is propelled from two bastions: Education and Mass Media. Let’s only look at education today. We have made impressive progress in this area. Most of our students worship a makeshift replica of a mainland knockoff of the Statue of Liberty. Few dare to speak independently on campus these days, even fewer think for themselves. This is good － entirely in accordance with HK’s academic tradition and recently sprung up Core Values. But lately, cou

DAY 5 Dear Comrades, I’m particularly joyous today because I’m going to talk about the mass media in Hong Kong. In this area, we enjoy resounding success. In the newsstands, TV, radio, there’s practically only ONE voice left — the loud and virtuous voice of freedom and democracy! All undemocratic hogwash have effectively been drowned out. Remember the Poster a couple of days ago? Small Brain no problem. Big voice makes OK. The mass media has refined this to perfection. We sho

DAY 6 Dear Comrades, A revolution is toothless without some means to persecute. For the time being, we use the ICAC and judiciary review to that effect. But they are not dependable in the long run. We will need our own Rat Centre and the power to conduct democratic public trials to maintain momentum in the reporting of despicable neighbours, loathsome bosses, threatening competitors and sarcastic anti-revolutionaries. Let’s unfurl their dirty laundry regardless of size. Nothi

革命終結篇 同志們！ 七天的革命，轉眼便要完結。我當日投身革命，是由一種失戀的感覺所驅使的。 我失戀的對象是香港。我是個小人物。細小的地球，對我來說非常之大。我又喜歡四海為家，那裡住都一樣。但香港是我和兩個女兒的第一個家，一個我曾經引以為榮的家，也是我爸爸媽媽那一代咬緊牙根，死拖著命運的手不放，拼命扭轉人生局面的革命根據地。但這幾年來，我對香港的感情，有一種萬語千言卻不知從何說起的不自在。跟朋友們說起，原來他們也有一種不願意去多想的感歎。有能力的人一個個的退隱，不敢再為香港服務。 我終於耐不住了，於是在家裡的密室爆發了這場臭氣熏天的民主文化大革命！ 我一向喜歡諷刺。 這可能是一種心理變態，也可能是由於環顧四周，人類發達社會之中，都是些非常諷刺的現象。朋友說：“你不能老用‘激脹法’ 跟老鄉說話，諸多批評，大家不喜歡聽。來些好聽的話哄哄吧！” 但哄我們的花言巧語不愁沒有人說哦！大家只要繼續鬧，拼命鬧，鬧得夠狂夠份量的話，美國（挪威？唉！）早晚會頒個諾貝爾和平獎給“整體香港人”。 某方面我是個典型的中國人。人家的事， 不直接影響我的，與我無關，我沒有資