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  • James Tam

Trump for President

The US election is a reality show which many outsiders follow as if their own. But non-Americans of the Brave New World should remember there’s no point agonising over the theatric competition. Entertainment is just entertainment. Don’t risk hypertension over it. Moreover, pardon my perennial repetition: Whoever wins makes no difference. That said, I still have an impertinent preference for Donald I over Clinton II, and I’m not even being sarcastic.

Many non-Americans irrationally cringe at the prospect of a President Trump. Well, I confess I wouldn’t want a friend like him. My contact list is full. But the arguments against him, from an outsider’s perspective, are mostly invalid or irrelevant.

First of all, his hairstyle. But hairstyle is no more reliable a reference than the NYT in making political choices. Okay, Donald seems an unapologetic asshole. Nobody can deny that. Bush I ins’t? Bush II isn’t? Clinton I? Obama the Peace Prize Change Drone Guy? And the warmongering Clinton II isn’t?! They all are, to astounding extents. That means Donald’s the first American politician in recent times who seems what he is. That’s refreshing, nearly honourable, certainly more American according to popular mythology.

Fine, he’s said outrageous thing. He said he’d build a wall along the Mexican border. Do you believe that? So he’s obviously hyperbolising. Isn’t that a lot less deceiving than Obama, sincerity twinkling in his eyes, emphatically promising to close down Guatanamo Bay the day after inauguration, nearly eight years ago? Donald’s made nasty remarks about Muslims. But if he’s elected, the true face of America would be revealed through the ballot box. The world has waited a very long time for that. Thank you Donald! Furthermore, if I were Muslim, I’d prefer nasty remarks than bombs and drones upon my wives and children, followed by relentless heartless demonisation. Of course Donald can add bombs to verbal insults too. But being a pragmatic gangster, there’s a credible chance that his foreign policy will be less ideologically driven. Imagine — no more American ideology! Dream fellow Earthlings. Dream!

Would the Powers That Be allow President Trump to be his own cowboy? Fat chance. But herein lies the most intriguing part about this election, especially for Americans. Trump could be a credible resistance to the invisible Emperor. One or two US politicians talk about revolution, but they’re all too much a part of the establishment game to take it past rhetorics. Trump, on the other hand, seems to know the rapidly expanding American grassroots without being one himself. I know I know. The chance of a President Trump rebelling against the ruling oligarchy and military-industrial complex is infinitesimally small, but larger than zero, and orders of magnitudes better than the other candidates. So if I were American, I’d say: Why not? What are the options anyways?

So. Go Donald Go!

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